How to Use Anagrams in Your Articles

Anagrams as so much fun. Especially when you use them to describe idiots. Some of you may be scratching your heads whenever you come across an article of mine that makes reference to Rectal Noun. Well, let me clear it up for you: Rectal Noun is my anagrammatic way of avoiding using the name A*n*n C*o*u*l*t*e*r in my articles as I try to get away with referring to the monster that ate decency without having Adsense place ads for the diarrhea that she passes off as books pop up on my articles. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. By the way, another good one for the Skeleton that puked shame is Unclean Rot. Or, if you prefer to add a little Germanic flavoring to your description, you might consider Oral Cunten.

If you wish to avoid having Google Adsense undermine your articles that take Al Franken’s Big Fat Idiot to task you might consider these: Hamburg Lush I; Bush Rim Laugh, A Bush Girl Hum. But let’s say you just don’t want to poison your articles by actually mentioning the name of the only sitting Vice President to shoot a man in the face. (Fact: Dick Cheney shot a man in the face and never reported to the police. Fact!) If you prefer to get away from having Cheney’s name in print, you could try Chicken Dye. Frankly, I wonder if a shot of Chicken Dye is responsible for that misshapen mouth of the Dark Lord. Another anagram for Dick Cheney that we can only wish we could use in print and make it turn into fact is Dickey Hence. (You know, Dickey Hence! And then he would disappear off the face of the planet, slowly rising into the outer space until his head exploded in an orgy of hatred and unreleased sexual energy.) (Fact: Dick Cheney’s wife gave birth to their only child exactly nine months and two days after LBJ announced that he would be lifting the restriction on drafting married, but childless, men to fight in Vietnam.)

Of course, even Dick Cheney would be preferable to George W. Bush. I know that’s an uncommon statement, but think about it: Dick Cheney has no warmth or charm; he’s just plain evil. I contend that fewer people would have put up with the crap from this White House if the positions had been reversed. Dick Cheney is obviously Satan, whereas George W. Bush even now seems about as harmless as Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel. I know-he’s not-but apparently many people buy his act. If you would prefer not to put George W. Bush’s ads on your articles thanks to Adsense, you might consider these anagrams: Whose Bugger (which I consider to be very apt), Beg Surge How? (which is temporarily appropriate), and He Grew Bogus (which took about one day in office for anyone paying attention).

Anagrams for Condi Rice’s bizarre real name are equally bizarre but I found an enormously ironic one for her nickname: I Cried Con. Ah, if only.